My dog, he is an ugly dog
he’s put together wrong
his legs are much too short for him
his ears are much too long
My dog, he is a scrufffy dog
he’s missing clumps of hair
his fase is quiet ridiculous
his tail is scarcely there
My dog, he is a dingy dog
his fur is full of fleas
he sometimes smells like dirty socks
he sometimes smells like cheese
My dog, he is a noise dog
he’s hardy ever still
he barks at almost anything
his voice is loud and shrill
My dog, he is a stupid dog
his mind is slow and thick
he’s never learned to catch a ball
he cannot fetch a stick
My dog, he is a greedy dog
he eats enough for three
his belly bulges to the ground
he is the dog for me
